The deluded medical technicians better known as Impaled are currently working on the follow up to their excellent 2002 release Mondo Medicale. I was therefore curious to know a little more about what the mad doctors have been doing the past year and a half so I recently got an appointment with Dr. Ross Sewage. A dead serious Dr. Ross gave a truly disturbing insight into the horrid routines of St. Julien Hospital.

Ross Sewage interviewed by PSL

What's up in the infirmary of Impaled at the moment?
Well, Dr. Sean has discovered a way to power his amp by harnessing the flatulence of coma patients, Dr. Raul has learned how to tan human skin for drum heads, Dr. Jason has discovered the BPM necessary for guitar tapping to cause brain embolisms, and I've been using my own sperm to artificially inseminate scores of patients at the fertility clinic.

How far in the process of writing material for your new full-length album are you?
We we're supposed to be writing music? SHIT! I knew there was something I forgot in-between sniffing glue and doing whipits.

Can you reveal any details, song titles, musical direction etc.?
The next album is called Sole Man and it's a funk rock concept album about my life as a podiatrist and working in the field of foot care. Dr. Scholl is going to do some guest vocals, even.

When do you expect to enter the studio?
As soon as I learn how to turn doorknobs. My vocational teacher says I might have opening doors down as soon as late April, so perhaps we'll be in the studio around then.

Where do you get the ideas for the lyrics from? Been sneaking around in the morgue beneath the St. Julien Hospital?
Well, of course there is the inspiration from our careers as mad doctors, the horrors of real life, the de facto corrupt republic we live in, but mostly I find lyrical inspiration for our sonnets of sickness from the writings of that seminal horror genius, Oscar Wilde.

You have a lot of sick humour incorporated in you music. Do you feel it's important to include that in order to not be taken too seriously?
I don't know what you're talking about. I'm constantly trying to be taken seriously, as metal is more than a way of life, it's the way… wait, no, it's a way of life. And that's that. [honks big red clown nose and throws cream pie at you]

You got some really cool artwork on your CD's how do you come up with the ideas to those covers and do you use real guts?
All of our covers come from photos Sean took while he was a forensic photographer. It's really cool, 'cause the photos are really sick looking, but we're running out of good ones. Soon, we'll have to start using the autoerotic asphyxiation pictures for covers. Yuck.

Some people think that by signing with a major label like Century Media you'll not be allowed to have as gory artwork on your new stuff as you did on your previous releases! What's your opinion about this and is there any truth in it?
I don't know about all that, but I do know that Century Media has already contacted Thomas Kincaide, the painter of light, to do our next cover. I'm sure it will be gory as fuck.

Guitarist Andrew LaBarre left the band in October according to Metal Update. Is there any truth in that and what happened?
Nope, there's no truth in that. He didn't leave, we totally killed that pussy piece of shit.

Have you found a replacement or do you continue as a three piece?
We actually grew a replacement using Dr. Richard Seed's human cloning technique. We had to do it in Sealand, the tiny independent nation off the coast of England, as that was the only place we could store the equipment we needed without incurring the wrath of law enforcement agencies. Then, Sean, Raul, and I went and plundered the graves of Buddy Holly, Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughn, and Chewbacca to get the genetic material we needed to create the perfect guitar player. And upon his artificial birth, we dubbed him Dr. Jason Kocol, M.D.

You recently released the Dementia Rex split CD with Spain's Haemorrhage through Razorback Records. How did this collaboration arise?
Well, Luisma and I have been writing each other for years, and Billy has also been our long time friend. Razorback suggested the idea of us doing a split, initially a 7", but that was upgraded to doing a CD when it was decided that our main goal would be to bury, with all due prejudice, the memory of the Hemdale/Exhumed split with an infinitely superior split. I'd say we succeeded… no one else might, but I'll go ahead and say it.

Dementia Rex has been three years in the making how come it took so long to get that split CD out?
We had re-negotiated our contract with Necropolis Records, basically taking out the "Necropolis gets to have butt sex with you" clause. We had to get Mondo Medicale done in order to complete the contract, then we knew we'd be free to work on the split with Haemorrhage. And then we sucked and took a long time to write songs, so instead we just stole songs off of crappy bands' demos and said they were ours. Then, the story took a long time to write, because I spent an entire year as an inmate at an asylum… um… "researching" the story. Yeah, that's it… researching.

On Mondo Medicale you began to incorporate a lot more melody in the music compared to The Dead Shall Dead Remain! What was your reason for doing so?
We stopped drinking quite as much and instead became addicted to huffing ether. At that point, tables and chairs began to sing to me, and Sean started seeing colors he didn't want to see… the melody on Mondo Medicale was a natural progression of our hallucinogenic tripping.

What was the idea behind doing the Nirvana cover for the Medical Waste EP? I mean it's not the typical band to cover for a death/gore grind band to cover!
We respect Kurt Cobain for blowing his head off. Anyone who had to fuck Courtney Love surely wants to die, and he had the courage to do it. That was our tribute to him. And Andrew's really fucking retarded idea.

How many versions is there of that EP? I mean my version includes some bonus stuff from Choice Cuts but I've heard of a version that includes the "Operating Theatre" video!
Yes, there are the two versions, and I've not seen the version you have. Yours also has slightly different artwork… here's why. Necropolis Records hates you and Europe. The German government absolutely begged us to allow the violent and super-gory "Operating Theatre" video in their country, but Paul and Matt at Necropolis told Century Media Europe to fuck off, that they were nothing but stupid old worlders, and that they should all eat their own crap. We felt so bad about this, but there was little we could do, other than send Century Media Europe what little stuff we did have control over… we love Europe, and hope to go there some day, and this was basically our gift to you in light of Necropolis' horribly grinchy attitude.

I find it strange that people call both Exhumed and Impaled for Carcass clones, sure there are a lot of references but does it really matter! How do you feel about being called a clone band?

I'll have you know our band was conceived naturally, by a mother band and a father band, and those two bands had really nasty, dirty scheisse sex, and Impaled was the resulting love child. We are clones of nothing. I have it on good word, though, that Exhumed are a bunch of bastards. Yup... there parents were never married.

In recent years one brutal death metal band after the other seem have crawled out from the woodwork in the San Francisco area. Any idea on why California seem to breed so many awesome death metal bands at the moment?
I don't know, Impaled has inspired so many… it's just hard to keep track of all those who've kissed my boots over the years. We're just glad to have brought such meaning to these pathetic mutants' lives.

Anything you'd like to add to conclude this interview?
Stay fuck. Go to www.impaled.info and pay tribute, fuckers. Oh yeah… then die.



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